


just means there's way more cake for me

by WattStalf



Series: Problematic OTP [16]
Category: Watchmen - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, birthday angst my dudes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-21 17:49:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7397404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WattStalf/pseuds/WattStalf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eddie turns fifty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	just means there's way more cake for me

**Author's Note:**

> It's my birthday so I decided to engage in one of my favorite past times: making Eddie miserable. Whoops.

He lights one of the candles and then the other- a five and a zero, because even though fifty blazing candles would have been badass as all hell, he doesn't think his landlady would appreciate the fire hazard. When they're lit, he watches them glow for a moment before leaning into one of them, cigar in his mouth, and he takes between his fingers to roll it into the flame until all of it has caught, and then he sits back, turning his head away from the cake while he puffs.

Once it has really begun to smoke, he turns back to examine the cake. It's way too big for him to eat by himself, but it won't turn gross for a few days, and even if he has to throw some away, so fucking what? It's his birthday, and just because he doesn't have friends to invite over and share cake with like some goddamn kindergartner doesn't mean he isn't allowed to enjoy himself however the hell he wants to. Eddie Blake had never been able to look very far into the future when he was younger, and now he is mostly just pleasantly surprised he got this old to begin with.

If he's going to be completely honest with himself, he's just pleasantly surprised with his life as a whole. He's done more at his age then most people get the chance to do in a life time and he isn't _that_ old; he knows for a fact that he's going to get the opportunity to do plenty more before he finally bites the dust. In fact, he's even in excellent health, all things considered, and even the smoking has not caught up with him yet. He's a very, very lucky man, and he reminds himself of that as he finally blows out his candle, blowing cigar smoke as he does.

Eddie pulls out the candles quickly, so as to avoid dripping any wax on his cake, and then he cuts himself a very large piece. He is a lucky man to be where he is today, and anything that makes him feel not as lucky? Well, he just needs to laugh that off, like he always does. It's his goddamn birthday, which is no time to be feeling sorry for himself in the first place, but he's better than all that shit anyway. Whatever's gone “wrong” for him or whatever, none of that shit matters anymore. He's on top of the goddamn world, and where's everybody else?

He doesn't want to think about her, because he knows he won't be able to laugh off what happened if he does, but where the hell is Sally now? Nowhere, that's where, because she let that scumbag of a husband con her out of her chance at fame, and her chance at happiness on top of that. At least if she'd given Eddie a chance, he could have tried to give her the latter. Maybe. He's not sure if he ever stood a chance of not fucking everything up for her, and maybe it's for the best that she and their daughter completely despise him now.

When he really thinks about it, Sally was his only friend back then. He had been so focused on getting her attention that they had accidentally become friends in the process, and even if there had been people he talked with, back when he was in the Minutemen and at war and through work, he's never really had any friends. He's barely even drunk right now, but he already feels like he might cry, and decides right then and there that he needs to get as shitfaced as possible, as quickly as possible, so that, if he does start crying, he'll be justified, so he gets up and heads for his liquor cabinet.

When he's returned to his table and poured himself a drink that he quickly downs, he pours himself another and starts on his piece of cake. The frosting is blue, and the only thing written on it is “Happy Birthday”, because it wasn't baked for him or anything like that. He had just gone to a bakery and picked up one already made, and when they offered to put a name on it, he'd declined. That cost extra, and he was the only one eating it, after all.

It's damn good cake, at the very least, and the fact that he doesn't have to share it means that he gets as much as he wants. He's gotta be more positive, he tells himself, and he's gotta see the funny side of the negative, not get himself down because he's alone on yet another birthday. It's not like he  _really_ has anything to cry about, after all, and it's been a particularly good year.

He's on top of the world! With Nixon's second term going swimmingly, thanks to some interference by the Comedian, it'll be a long time before he has to worry about employment, and everyone in the country knows his name. He starts to remember, with fondness, an evening just for him, a special dinner celebrating his “accomplishments”- more like celebrating him saving Dick's political career, but that was completely under the table- but then he remembers that Laurie was there.

He remembers what she said to him and the look of hate in her eyes, and it all comes back to him, and he doesn't know why the hell he cares so much, but he feels so goddamn  _unfulfilled._ Sally and Laurie will never be there, and it's way too late to fix this, but if he could, he would do damn near anything. He doesn't want to get so damn sad on his own birthday over his lost love and his daughter who never knew the truth, but it doesn't feel like he can avoid it. For all fifty years of his life, he can remember few times where he didn't feel alone, and all of them involved Sally in some way.

She's been lost to him for years, since right before Laurie was born, and she's always going to be lost to him. He's on top of the world and she isn't, and Laurie might as well be in another world with all that goes on in her life, and he knows it's damn cheesy that all he wants in his life is a family he never had a chance at, but that's what he wants all the same. He just wants to be a little less alone, but he wants it with them, and he wants them to be the ones helping him finish this huge fucking cake that he knows he's going to have to throw out in a few days.

Too late, he remembers that you're supposed to make a wish when you blow out the candles, but his wish is too big for something like that anyway, and he laughs. He laughs and he laughs and he laughs, until his face is wet and he realizes he's already started crying.

 


End file.
